I’ve been hired to rewrite the above ad to reflect a greater theological accuracy.
“Sadly, many of our beloved senior customers have gone to heaven. Or possibly to hell. Old Lady Bernice – yeah, she’s in hell. Purgatory for some, I imagine – though von Balthazar would suggest that there is the outside shot that all of them are in fact in heaven; personally, I knew these women well and old Hans can Ur my Von Balthazar, if you know what I mean. Anyway, we need some new angels to fill our chairs. Not angels, per se, who don’t have hair – at least not physical hair (after all, how many angels can dance on the end of a hairpin? ha ha – but I digress); but moral angels, by which I mean people of good behavior who tip me well. In brief, we need new customers. OK?”
Hilarious! Thanks, Kevin!
I’d try hard to restrain an automatic response of uproarious laughter, and exercise caution with this one. There is a sinister element in it which might suggest a modern American version of Sweeney Todd.