I swap email forwards with a friend in the UK. This arrived from Julia this morning, and I thought I’d share it with Ink Desk readers. When I was teaching, I was often amazed at the lengths people would go to in order to avoid actually raising their children. Hillary Clinton, speaking for all the wise moderns, said that it takes a village to raise a child. The following (un)funny scenarios are what happens when we turn our children over to the village.

 

SCHOOL-1945 vs. 2012

 

Scenario :
Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.

1945 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2012 – Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School governors hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes.

 

Scenario :
Robbie won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.

1945 – Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2012 – Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD – result deemed to be positive. Robbie’s parents get fortnightly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.

 

Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1945 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2012 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail.

 

Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1945 – Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. Passes exams, becomes a solicitor.

2012- Police called, car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out.

 

Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Cracker night, puts them in a paint tin & blows up a wasp’s nest.

1945 – Wasps die.

2012- Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an airplane again.

 

Scenario :
Johnny falls over while running during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him.

1945 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing footie. No damage done.

2012 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and ends up gay.