When I jettisoned Facebook some weeks ago, I considered composing a self-explanatory statement—an anti-Facebook apologia. I later dismissed the idea—mostly because I feared it would prove a silly, self-satisfied, time-wasting, pontificating exercise (which nearly sums up my objections to Facebook itself). Nevertheless, while discussing the subject at length with friends (real friends!), I was asked to give at least a brief list of my objections. Here are the requested talking points in all of their questionable (and mercifully brief) glory:
- Facebook as solipsistic: I am doing this, I am doing that. I feel this, I think this, I want to appear as something distinct, therefore I assert that I have done or am doing any of the above. This is my complaint against most diary-esque blogs as well—the idea that my unformed opinions matter so very much that I needs must tell you of them at every possible opportunity.
- Facebook as antisocial: As a graduated homeschooler, “antisocial” is not a word thrown about lightly. We were accused of it often enough through grade school (usually by random people in grocery stores who administered the term after a thirty- or forty-minute conversation so we would be sure not to think that they found us intelligent or well-spoken). Nevertheless, it may be applied here and with cause. Virtual reality is not reality. Instantaneous intimacy is not closeness. “Poking” is not physical contact. “Friending” does not make friends.
- Facebook as glorifying idleness: First of all, this whole system operates according to the idea that if I am not doing something status-worthy, I’m not fulfilling my existence. It is no longer sufficient to be—we have to be doing. This is the triumph of utilitarianism over contemplation! Moreover, in terms of actual utilitarianism, Facebook is infuriatingly inefficient! The inanity of the thing was actually the deciding factor for me; I realized that I rarely logged into my account—and then only with exceeding reluctance and the firm conviction that I was wasting time. I had retained it to keep in touch with my legion of cousins; and yet letters from the same cousins remained unanswered for weeks.
- Facebook as a near occasion of sin: Setting aside the obvious temptation toward sloth and all the lecherous offerings displayed in the webpage margins, the opportunities for Facebook-bred sin abound! Discontent with one’s job, one’s boyfriend, one’s family, one’s life. Envy of other people, their parties, their trips, their friends, their digital pets. Impatience with an uneventful sort of day. Intemperance. Neglect of one’s obligations. The willful ignoring of reality. Boredom. And all with such abysmal grammar, too!
For Facebook rehab I prescribe: Authentic conversations, multiple-hand solitaire games, long walks, a steady course of reading (with regular doses of Chesterton), and, above all, silence.
Now, I’m finished. Farewell, Facebook. I don’t miss you. If anyone wants to debate any of these points, I recommend that you talk to me directly and don’t bother trying to write on my wall—it isn’t there. Signing out here.
I’m a friend of Laura’s, a real-life friend who joined Facebook to try to find the Apple iPhone browser app…. well, I never found it, but I now have 73 friends and have wasted an inordinate amount of time playing blackjack, poking people, and generally reading stuff that I really don’t care about.
I agree with everything you wrote (well, less the homeschool stuff…that I merely sympathize).
Anyway, I think its not just Facebook that is doing this. The internet in general is helping us lose our humanity, one blog, one website, one video game at a time.
Computers are stealing our souls.
Dear Eleanor,
Amen, amen, AMEN!!!!
Thank you for your column. I had just been sharing with my niece that I feel like the only odd-duck in the world who thinks Facebook is a waste of time and overrated. I have refused an account, and I am looked upon as though I am a creature from another planet when I tell people that I don’t want an account.
As a mother, author, singer/songwriter, Catholic woman…when in the world would I have time for Facebook? Why would I WANT to make time? If I have time, shouldn’t I be writing, reading scripture, praying, helping others—as you say, taking a walk, etc. etc?
Those who are genuinely interested in what I am doing, and visa versa, already do know…because we correspond or talk regularly…otherwise, I think that people just have a morbid and sometimes sinful curiousity to see what people are up to–like watching a train wreck…can’t take your eyes off it or resist blabbing about what you saw.
I spend enough time just answering pertinent emails–that is enough!
Again, I thank you for your speaking out on this…I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt this way…especially now that the POPE is on Facebook….sheesh.
God bless you, dear!
Elizabeth Schmeidler
i am agree with you. but i have a bad experience in facebook. but reading your blog i am impressed and interested for facebook.
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